MY COLLECTION OF BLIND JOKES

All these jokes are sourced from the internet from various uncopywrighted sites.


WE ARE NOT SENSITIVE TO BEING BLIND

* An aeroplane filled to capacity is sitting on the tar mac awaiting take-off.
When the pilot and co-pilot come aboard, the pilot is waring sun glasses and hittin the sides of the isle with a white cane, the co-pilot is following behind him with a guide dog.
As both pilots continue towards the cockpit, the passengers start to murmer amongst themselves: "Are they kidding?" "What's going on?" "Are we going to die?"
When the plane's engines start the passengers get louder. As the plane begins to pick up speed down the runway, they really get loud and finally when the plane is at full throttle and 20 metres from the end of the runway, the passengers begin screaming at the top of their lungs.
The plane suddenly pulls up and is air borne. The pilot says to the co-pilot: ""You know, one day they're not going to scream, and we're all going to die."

* A blind man crosses a very busy road with he's guide dog and almost gets hit by a bus, and causes complete chaos.
When he safely reaches the other side, he immediately offers he's dog a sweet.
A furious driver who almost wrote off he's MERC ask: "Why the hell are you rewarding your dog when he almost got you killed?"
The blind man calmly replied: "I have to first find out which end he's head is before I can kick he's arse."

A blind man enters Pick & Pay and goes to the middle of the store between all the rows of shelves.
He then picks up he's dog by it's hind legs and starts swinging it around in circles.
The store manager notices this and goes over and asks the blind man: "Why are you doing this to your dog?"
The blind man replies: "I'm just having a look around."

* The Rabbi is chomping on a piece of matzah, taking pity on the blind man, he breaks off a piece and gives it to the blind man.
Several minutes later the blind man turns, taps the Rabbi on the shoulder, and asks: "Who wrote this crap?"

Q. How does a blind man when jumping with a parachute know when he's near the ground?
A. When he's guide dog's leash instantly becomes slack.

Q. Why don't blind people sky dive?
A. Because it scares the hell out of their guide dogs.

Q. How does a blind pilot know when to eject the landing gear before landing the aircraft?
A. When the passengers start screaming.

Q. What are the bumps around a girl's nipples?
A. They read "Suck here" in Braille.

Q. Why are bats blind?
A. Well you wouldn't see too well if you hung upside down all day, would you?


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